A Life So Changed

I really hate it how friends change when they are in a relationship. I dont know if this happens for everyone, but recently one of my best and closest friends has got herself a boyfriend, and she has changed completely. Whenever I see her now, the boyfriend is always there. There is absolutely nothign wrong with the boyfriend, he is lovely, but I want her to talk to me again! It seems shes always either with him, or talking to him on facebook or her mobile. Gah!
Now, take the song out of context. Remove it from the movie. Or, maybe I will just set a new scene for you. Ok, so Rose and Jack are at the front of the ship, you know, 'flying' and all that, and standing about 100 meters behind is Rose's bestfriend. He came on the voyage with her, then she found Jack and went galavanting all over the ship with him, leaving bestfriend alone for the voyage. Then tragically bestfriend dies in the sinking, Rose cries for eternity, losing teh guy she has known her WHOLE LIFE! and guy she has known for a few days.
Gah! what is the big deal about having a partner. Why cant people just be happy alone. Haha, I can talk, it seems that in every post for the past few weeks, ive mentioned something about wanting a boyfriend. Hypocrite! I guess I just dont know what it feels like to have a partner, to be loved, and hugged, and snuggled....sigh. Still! I wouldnt leave my bestie behind!
Anyway, thats my sob story for the day. I am not so depressed about not getting into the Uni, although ive just found out that 'Jazz Singer' has been offered a place at thesame Uni for the Jazz course... That means both 'Prince Charming' and 'Hot Jazz Singer' are possibly moving over the otherside of the country. Life sucks, and then you die...haha

Here Comes Santa Claus

Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
Oh what a beautiful sight,
So jump in bed, and cover your head,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.

I just realised that I havent put any posts about Christmas up yet! Oh Gosh, I hear you all say! I guess I have just been too busy to even comprehend it. Wow, that is so sad. Im becoming ot busy to remember Christmas! But its all ok, I have remembered, and the celebrations shall begin.

The weirdest part of me forgetting about Christmas is that im doing the Carols by Candlelight, so I have no idea what was going through my head. Haha. Bring on the Christmas cheer!

Defying Gravity

Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

I just found out that the Performing Arts University that I tried out for has said 'thanks but not thanks' this year. I must say, im taking it a little bit worse than I thought I would. I though that id be fine about it, but I guess ive been hoping for soo long that I would get in, and now that I didnt, its really sad. Ahh well, I guess I just have to spend this year buffing up, and perfecting my dance. Its going to happen. I will make it, someday.

It is a very hard University to get into, and they only take 10 boys in Australia into the course. I made it to Callback, which is top 40 guys, so thats pretty amazing in its own right. 'Prince Charming' and his 'Princess' best friend made it in, which is absolutely amazing! I am soo happy for them! I just wish that I was going with them.

My job search is still going horribly, nothing back from any of the places ive applied for. I think thats what my main problem is, I have too much time on my hands, and im spending most of it sitting at home alone. If I had a job, I would be spending my weekdays earnign money, but no, no one wants me. Haha, so dramatic. I think I might go down to the beach and have a swim, kick start my fitness regime for the year with a bang!

Pure Imagination

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly
Wish to be.

Imagination. A tool that I often have to use, but when I am sick of using my own, its nice to be able to experience someone elses. I have always been a bit of a gamer. I used to be quite addicted, but now im too busy to get into a good game. I always used to love losing myself. Those games where you create your own character, and run through a world of fantasy doing whatever you wanted. I loved Oblivion and Fable, and Kingdom Hearts. Gah! So many memories. I guess really, gaming has had a large effect on me as ive grown up. I remember getting a game called Guild Wars.

My first online game, meaning I could talk and play with other people whilst gaming. This is a bad mix. I started to spend all my time on it, I was quite addicted, but just from talking to people on the otherside of the world, I was learning things. I was experiencing happiness and anger, heartache and love. I know, it sounds pretty weird falling in love with someone you have never met, but it happened for me. I met boys, and we would talk and play for hours together, but there is one who had the most profound effect on me. His name was Dalton, its kinda where I got my Blogger name from, and we met questing for some rare artefact. He was such a nice person, and always genuinely cared for what I had to say, and how I was. We acted as psychiatrists to eachother, always spilling our feelings, and latest real life endevours. We got each other through pretty horrible times. It was nice. Then he stopped playing, and then I stopped playing, and we never talked again.

 I guess you can say that I was in love with Dalton, and that was my first real relationship. The best part was that their wasnt a horrible breakup, because a breakup never happened. We just grew apart.
Still like ot game a little, just for an hour or two when I feel like it. It is an escape. A place where everything is perfect. A utopia. You most likely all think im a real nerd now, but whats wrong with that? :)

You Found Me

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me!

Im trying to get my blog back in order. The number of posts during November just wasnt enough. So I have to improve, but then again, it was the busiest month of my life.

So I got a text from my dad this morning, I know, I was surprised too. He wants to get together. "So your exams are over mate, do you want to come down and see the farm?" I dont understand how my exams made it impossible for a call, of which, I didnt get even on my birthday. I dont think he understands that the state that our relationship is in at the moment, that I dont want to go and spend a happy fun weekend frolliking amongst the cows and sheep. If anything, I just want to go and have lunch or something, until the relationship is healed slightly, if thats possible. A further effect of my realtionship with my father is my poverty. I am already living the life of a poor Uni student before ive even started uni!

So this week I began searching for a job. Ive applied for David Jones, Zara, Glue Store, and Fossil. All in Sydney, and all retail. I really hope that something comes out of one, because my current financial situation just isnt good enough! My chemist job is earning me $30 a week, which is better than nothing, but still!, $30! I cant live off that, particularly in the Christmas period. Gah! If anyone can help my job search, all suggestions are welcomed :)

Finally, I will babble on about my romantic status at the moment. Which, is unchanged, annoyingly. No love for me! I think there are two boys who are flirting with me, but im not really into them, so I kinda just turn their flirting into nice conversations. Basically they arent 'Prince' or 'Jazz'. Who im still strung up on. Love sucks! Why cant things ever be easy! I just want an amazing relationship! GAAAAAAH!



Denouement

It is all over. My exams. My auditions. My performance. All gone. And the most annoy thing is that I always seem to wish I did things differently.
My performance went amazingly! It was phenomenal! Everyone loved it! I learnt soo much, and I gained soo many beautiful friends. Friends that I know I will never let go. This is annoying thing number one. I let my self consciousness over power me. 'The Nobles' accepted me, in fact, I seriously partied with them on Saturday night. It was one of the funnest nights of my life! (I was at Stonewall from 2-6am, just in case anyone else was) I have made a new bestfriend, she is basically the Australian version of Lea Michele, which makes me incredibly happy! And I found out that they had always really liked me, it was just my stupid self making me shy away. The night/morning was soo good! Waaay too much alcohol, but on the plus size, $4 drinks, so I still have money let over! :) We danced the night away!!! It was the sort of night that I had been longing for for the past few weeks. However.
Just as I was getting closer to 'Prince Charming', things took a turn for the worst. All was good, we were sharing a dressing room, lots of giggles, I even found out from 'New Bestfriend' that he said I was on his sexiest people in the performance list. Until he falls for the makeup guy. Makeup guy was very attractive, but HE wasnt meant to fall for him! My Prince was stolen by the Fairy Godfather. I thought it may pass at the afterparty, however, makeup guy turns up, 'Prince' is locked with him all night! My chances shattered infront of me. Ahh well, I waited, and I payed for it.
It wasnt all horrible though. An unlikely beau appeared. In the form of 'exotic jazz singer'. I was preparing myself to leave, saying goodbye to various people, when he suddenly interjects. He hadnt really ever talked to me, and even on the night, he didnt say anything, until then. I tell him that I am going. He then does the most peculiar thing. He gently pushes me against the wall, and and puts his arm over my chest to stop me from leaving. I was really quite surprised at first, and then he insisted on buying me a drink, which he did. Nothing else happened that night, however, since then, I have been in contact with him. Nice messages. A little flirty. :)
BUT! I dont know what to do! I am still strung up on 'Prince Charming' and now I have 'Exotic Jazz Singer'! Its amazing. How, to begin with, I felt like such an outcast and now I am being accepted and wanted. GAH! I am soo confused! Turns out the denouement of my performance was just the beginning of my love life!
Im stuck between the trumpet and the crown.

Till I Hear You Sing

The day starts, the day ends
Time crawls by
Night steals in, pacing the floor
The moments creep,
Yet I can’t bear to sleep
Till I hear you sing!

The past week has been absolutely mental! I flew down to Melbourne 5 days ago for my audition, and since then, I havent stopped! I shall indulge all on the Melbourne adventure first.

The moment I stepped onto that plane, it hit me. I was auditioning for my future tomorrow. Oh I know, very dramatic, but completely true! The audition was for a perfomring arts university, very well known, and very prestigious. The plane trip was smooth, mostly due to our business class seats, thankyou industry parents, and we arrived into the cultural center of Australia. My audition went AMAZINGLY! So mother and I went and explored Melbourne for a little while, well me exploring, mum just doing what she usually does when she goes to Mel. We ended up at the Regent Theatre, where mum, out of the blue, bought tickets to 'Love Never Dies', the 'Phantom of the Opera' sequel. Best birthday present ever! Oh yes, forgot to tell you, it was my birthday! Which was completely over shadowed by my audition, but anyway. The show was astounding! Absolutely beautiful. Tear jerking. Heart renching. Stunning. This was then further made better by a phone call that I recieved asking me to attend a CALLBACK FOR THE UNI! HOORAH!!!!!
The callback was the next day, which went well. I guess. It was a good learning curve. I know that im most likely not going to get in, but it was a really good first experience. Melbourne has lots of goodlooking people. The callback was full of them! :)
As we made for home, my phone was ringing constantly with Birthday and congratulation and good luck messages. Surprisingly some from the 'nobles' in my performance. Who are now talking to me. Just shows what it takes to be noticed by them.
I was then thrust into the full week of rehearsals, which I am still halfway through, for the show at the end of the week. Early mornings and days of dance dont mix! Still, its fun, im learning stuff, all is good. Looking forward to Saturday night, afterparty, whcih also includes going out in Sydney, Hoorah for birthday celebration! So this week is full of fun and happiness!
'Prince Charming' is becoming charming again. My crush is flaring up, but I have that little bit more confidence now. Im still planning on Saturday night being the time to get to know him more haha. Oh well, I will try and keep posting this week, but I know it is going to get really crazy! So, no promises!