Over the Love

Now there’s green light in my eyes
And my lover on my mind
And I’ll sing from the piano, tear my yellow dress and
Cry and cry and cry
Over the love of you.

 

You know those moments when you just feel like kicking yourself repeatedly in the chest with steel-capped boots? Usually it's linked to some repeated memory that keeps appearing in your mind, and every time you think about it you just cant help but clench every muscle in your body because you feel this is the only plausible way that you can remove it from your mind. That's me. Right now. Possibly for the remainder of my life. Well, not really, but at the moment it feels that way.

 

So the post 'Once Upon Another Time' was about falling for your best friend, and my seemingly high expectation that it wasn't normal. Well, after feeling a huge sense of relief for the whole week after finally expressing my held in feelings, it all came tumbling down on Friday night.

 

Just after I started this blog I told a story about a boy who I had completely fallen for. He was the one who was about to star in a major musical. He was also the one involved in the best example of what I imagine to be fate. You know, two people are put together in highly unlikely situations, that sort of thing. Well, he was putting on a one person show (a cabaret) on Friday night about his life and experiences. It turned out to be basically an hour and a half of him telling stories of his love life, which was actually really interesting and funny and witty and amazing and....yes, that's my problem. My old feelings have returned. I even have the feeling that they are bigger than they were last time. Its just ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. I feel like a smitten school girl. What is wrong with me!!!?!?!?!

 

To my great dismay, it all continued to Saturday. I went to see a show with my best friend. We had past show family members in this new show, and went to support them. Twas a great show! Lots of laughter and fun to be had. Seeing lots of other show friends. It was great! Then, who do I notice across the room at interval?! I'm sure you can guess. It was seriously one of those moments that you can just picture yourself running head first through a room towards a person, being taken into their arms, and just kissing them with all the bottled up feelings and emotions you have. Just something. Anything.

 

I don't even know what it is about him. He's not remarkably attractive, he is slightly egotistical, and he doesn't even appear to make an effort when it comes to conversation, yet there is something that just ignites within me every time he is in the room. I guess he is that typical high school crush everyone has. However, I unfortunately haven't moved past him.

 

The worst part of it all is that he still gives the best hugs...