Believe

We were dreamers not so long ago
But one by one we all had to grow up
When it seems the magic's slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas day

So, last Saturday, two days ago, I performed at a local Carols by Candlelight. It was a lovely event. Beautiful night, no clouds, just stars pouring down onto the various picnic blankets that were scattered on the field. It was really nice to see all the little kids excited for Santa, and the Christmas cheer that was to come. I guess now that im older, the happiness of Christmas has left me a little, specially this year. Ive found it really hard this year, mainly because I've been soo busy! Also another reason maybe because im not really celelbrating on Christmas day because mum is flying, so I am pretty much alone for Christmas. Its alright, I am trying to organise to go to a close family friends house for lunch, so that could be nice.

Seeing all the kids at Carols did make me a little sad. That the magic that we all used to feel at that time has left. That im growing up! I dont want to grow up! I want Peter Pan to take me to Neverland where we can live amongst the mermaids and fairies. Haha. I remember being little, and waking up at 5am in the morning, running out to the Christmas tree in the living room to find it lost in a sea of presents. i remember my methodical approach to opening them, and the smiles that my mum and dad had. We were together as a whole. A family. I remember one Christmas, I had asked for Barbie Rupunzel and Ken Prince Charming (haha, I was asking for barbies for Christmas. How didnt I know I was gay?), and when I unwrapped them, I didnt let them out of my sight for the whole day. We had the family over for Christmas lunch, and they were both sitting on the table next to my plate. I was over the moon! Ahhh well. Those days are over now. I certainly dont get Barbie's for Christmas anymore, or any sort of toy for that matter!

I will try and do a post or two a day for the rest of the week, because im home alone, and I have nothing better to do! Haha. Its weird. Writing on a blog. All these things that I have never told anyone about, are now out for the public to see. Its kind of like, I dont know, a place where you can just let everything out, and no one will judge you because they have no idea who you are haha.